Today John from Daddy Runs A Lot is guest posting for me (pause while you listen to me scream). I adore John. He's funny and smart, quick witted and way candid. He's also a daddy blogger in a world of mommy bloggers. And fit's in so incredibly well. I mean, he's just one of us. He reads us and all the gory details we can put out there. And he comments. Oh, how I love him. So when he agreed to guest post? I was all kinds of giddy. He's talking about that very subject today: being a man and daddy blogger in a sea of women (which I'm guessing isn't too bad of a deal.).
Ok - if you're a regular around these parts, it's not a secret that I love Kim. So, when she was like "hey, do you want to write a guest post for me," I was all over that. And then, I went from "love" to "big puffy <3" when we talked about what I should write about. Because, I've always wanted to write about this - but, I've never really had the opportunity.
Kim asked what it was like to be a daddy blogger amidst a sea of mommy bloggers.
Now, I could have pulled a bout of righteous indignation and called bullshit on the premise - after all, I'm a blogger, and I'm in a world of bloggers.
But, you know that's bullshit (hey, Kim, I can swear here, right? Cool). Last I checked, I have these two little things that hang out around me. I change their diapers and feed them and bathe them and don't sell them to the highest bidder, so I'm pretty sure that qualifies me as a "daddy."
The vast majority of the people that I read and comment on (and those who read & comment on my blog) are bloggers who, to the best of my knowledge, don't have penii (penises?). On top of that, they've had a bout of two of the 9-month STD....since they have blogs of their own, that makes them "mommy bloggers."
So, I'm a daddy blogger. And I'm a daddy world right smack in the middle of a world of mommy bloggers. And I'm willing to accept it.
The first thing that strikes me is that I don't really see things as "weird." I mean, I'm actually quite comfortable "in real life" around a group of women. When push comes to shove, I love a crowd. And for as much as I love to listen to a story, I love to tell a story. You pick me up, drop me in just about any scenario, and I start trying to find similarities between that group and myself. And then I work to relate to the crowd.
Online, it's just the same - find similarities between the experiences that a specific blogger is posting about and myself. Issues at bedtime? I can relate. A bad story about an ex? I can relate. Depression? I can relate. Addiction? I can relate. Sex? I can certainly relate.
Now, I'd never actually claim to know what a person is going through -- but I can relate to a lot - even if the line I draw to my own personal experiences is a bit of a stretch.
I wish I could find the post, because it was really funny and deserves the link - but I was reading a recap about a daddy blogger who went to BlogHer. He was talking about his experiences and what a great time he had. Though, at some point, he ended up in the middle of a group of lady bloggers when someone mentioned that it was the 15th anniversary of her first blowjob. And, he got embarrassed (as one might expect about hearing a group of strangers talking about their early sexual experiences). I read that little bit of the blog post, though, thinking as I read it "yeah, but how did it end? Was she ready for 'the moment'? Did he reciprocate?"
See, I don't have that "embarrassed" filter that others might.
Heck, there was a whole big "personal grooming" exchange not too long ago . . . and I never wrote the post because it seemed that everyone read my comments . . . I started shaving certain areas, specifically to avoid chafing as I started running more. And, then I thought that there must be truth to the whole "tree appears to be bigger if there's no shrubbery..." thing.
Um, yeah. So there's that.
With all that said, though, there are a few topics that a truly geared toward the fairer of the species, but, again, I remain fully comfortable reading & commenting about.
That time of month? Biology sucks sometimes - but I've dealt with dogs eating tampons and I can give a pretty good back rub.
The corporate glass ceiling? Any hiring or promotion decision that isn't made based, entirely, on past results and future potential is moronic.
Finding a bra that fits? Well, at its heart, discovering a bra that fits is a post about boobs, and everyone loves boobs. Seriously - I think gay men may like boobs more than any other group.
Make-up? I've been on stage a time or two, myself, so it's not like I've never worn make-up, but a post about make-up is, likely, more about finding yourself beautiful without it. And, even if that's not the case, I still comment like that's the case.
Intense & sudden food cravings? Who hasn't had munchies? And while I don't like chocolate, I'd do dirty, dirty things for an aged cheddar.
Insanely good looking guys? I'm quite confident in my sexuality - but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good looking guy. I've been quite vocal about my mancrushes on Rob Lowe, Joss Whedon, Alexander Skarsgård, and Neil Patrick Harris.
Sex toys & achieving orgasms? I don't understand why this is a taboo topic. People like sex - there's a reason it's been around for awhile. If you're having issues "reaching the finish line," well, would you hide the fact that you're having difficulty seeing? It shouldn't be a big thing -- I want the details, because it's entirely possible that I'll run across a moment in my life that knowing someone's experiences might help. And here, truly, any advice I might give is meant completely sincerely.
With all that said - there is a single topic that I avoid as if it were the plague....
Shoes. Ok, if you're talking about comfort & support while wearing shoes for a specific task - I'm right there. But, when my kids are old enough to understand that there are differences between men & women, I'll explain that "a boy has a penis, a girl has a crippling shoe obsession." When I read about sexy shoes, though - I typically can't even read the post. It might as well be written in Greek.
So, ladies - if you're looking to keep me away from your blog, write more about shoes :-)