tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post2168383721912866891..comments2023-07-05T03:15:12.052-05:00Comments on The Truth About Homeschooling: For Better Or Worse, Forsaking All OthersAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08779898977217945602noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-77852682322520229302011-08-25T08:27:50.000-05:002011-08-25T08:27:50.000-05:00Isn't it funny how our views change and we get...Isn't it funny how our views change and we get older and wiser? I used to be the same. Cheat = leave. But now? After 10 years of marriage and 2 kids. Oy, the ramifications.... Humans are so complex. I'm learning in my old age that its never black and white.Amber Lenahttp://www.taooftwins.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-17075736667937867012011-08-22T08:46:38.000-05:002011-08-22T08:46:38.000-05:00I always thought like you did...you cheat, you lea...I always thought like you did...you cheat, you leave. Until it happened to me. <br><br>J and I aren't married, but we'd been together for several years when the cheating happened. And at first, I left and didn't want anything to do with him. But then we started talking and figuring things out. We are still together. <br><br>There was damage to the relationship and there are things that I will never get over. But I've chosen to forgive him and move forward together. <br><br>I learned that your friend is right...there are factors on both sides that contribute to a bad relationship. And I learned that it's never quite as cut and dried as "you cheat, you leave". Every situation is different...the factors and the motivation and the reasons. Our particular situation was very complicated and if the circumstances had been different, I might have made a different choice. <br><br>I wish your friend a lot of luck...it's not easy to do what she's doing. She's lucky she has a friend like you to help her through this.shanahttp://www.fumblingtowardsnormalcy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-82729135711227270682011-08-22T04:37:11.000-05:002011-08-22T04:37:11.000-05:00wow. can't imagine. what they are doing takes ...wow. can't imagine. what they are doing takes incredible strength.gracehttp://arms-wide-open.squarespace.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-43510548005091977202011-08-22T06:47:37.000-05:002011-08-22T06:47:37.000-05:00Good for them for doing what they feel is right fo...Good for them for doing what they feel is right for their marriage, and not just splitting up because "that's what people do" when one cheats, you know?Sarahttp://www.ninjapanza.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-42478040497198532042011-08-22T09:53:41.000-05:002011-08-22T09:53:41.000-05:00I've always known, when a marriage breaks down...I've always known, when a marriage breaks down, it's not just because someone's a sociopath and makes decisions that benefit only him/her. Well, I guess it's possible . . . but that decision to cheat is a cowardly one - but also a difficult one.<br><br>I've been cheated on (not in marriage, but in long-term relationships), and it drives a <em>lot</em> of introspection. I'd say it's almost fortunate for me, in the cases where I have been cheated on, that she chose to leave. I mean, I approach relationships quite differently now than I did back then . . . but the introspection, the "what did I do wrong?" is soul-crushing . . . the "what can I live with?" can force you to re-evaluate your own self-worth, and the "what can I do to fix this right now" can make you ignore the forest for the trees so badly that you don't realize that you're all town up with barbs.<br><br>Just awful all around.<br><br>I applaud both friends for working through it - well, I don't know, if I were the wife in that relationship, if I'd have been able to put up with things beforehand . . . he, just, um, doesn't seem pleasant. But, if this changed him, and made him want to fight for his family - well, there are worse things, I guess.Johnhttp://daddyrunsalot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-77456547361562392502011-08-27T13:07:42.000-05:002011-08-27T13:07:42.000-05:00You.are.great. I love this response. Truly.You.are.great. I love this response. Truly.Kimnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-17732713167195803982011-08-27T13:10:31.000-05:002011-08-27T13:10:31.000-05:00I'm sorry to hear that, but so glad you two ar...I'm sorry to hear that, but so glad you two are working it out. It takes so much strength to stay and work it out. Much more than leaving. That is something I've learned.Kimnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-83850069239945859482011-08-27T13:04:05.000-05:002011-08-27T13:04:05.000-05:00Exactly! Again, you are ALWAYS insightful, so full...Exactly! Again, you are ALWAYS insightful, so full of wisdom. How do you do that??Kimnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-70931158574897045882011-09-01T03:59:44.000-05:002011-09-01T03:59:44.000-05:00So glad to read this and know that I am not the on...So glad to read this and know that I am not the only one. We are moving forward too.Meredithhttp://merediththemom.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-34444471153667589352011-08-22T11:40:04.000-05:002011-08-22T11:40:04.000-05:00Sometimes things have to hit rock bottom to truly ...Sometimes things have to hit rock bottom to truly show what a relationship can be. It opens up everyone's eyes and can really teach a couple to communicate. I wish your friends the best of luck.Jesshttp://straighttalkjess.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-85870194146429113512011-08-26T08:41:19.000-05:002011-08-26T08:41:19.000-05:00Sometimes I think it is unfortunate that so much e...Sometimes I think it is unfortunate that so much emphais is placed on "the" vow, when if more attention was given to all the vows couples make on their wedding day, infidelity would often be prevented.<br>When my first marriage broke down, many people asked me if he had "broken his vows" meaning had he broken "the" vow. Well, in fact he had broken his vows, but not necessarily the vow that they had in mind (though even that was up for interpretation).<br>Whether people feel cherished, respected and loved in their marriages is a big part of whether they stay true to one another in the physical part of marriage.<br>JodiJodi Edwards Wrighthttp://adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-21119032536250578582011-08-22T17:11:00.000-05:002011-08-22T17:11:00.000-05:00I have had this happen to several married friends,...I have had this happen to several married friends, and unfortunately, in all cases, the cheater did not want to stay and make it better. So good for them for fighting for their marriage. Best of luck to their family.Not There Yethttp://baileymaxpeewee.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-68980479957292507812011-08-24T05:40:34.000-05:002011-08-24T05:40:34.000-05:00Sigh. This is so hard. Like you I've always th...Sigh. This is so hard. Like you I've always thought (and still do) that I'd hit the road, but until you're in those shoes, you just don't know. People come back from that and like your friend, they come back better than ever. <br><br>A friend of ours is in a similar situation. And I'm watching his family be completely rocked. His kids are little. His wife is destroyed. And he's sleeping on my couch from time to time, just over the accusation of infidelity. (I'm still not sure if there actually was any.) It breaks my heart and scares me in ways that I can't begin to describe. Like in a "if it could happen to them..." kind of way.Kristahttp://www.notmommyoftheyear.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1775059803665454920.post-73513378997915843452011-08-22T09:35:23.000-05:002011-08-22T09:35:23.000-05:00Your friend is so incredibly strong and brave. The...Your friend is so incredibly strong and brave. The fact that they are trying and working so hard is inspiring. I thought it was a no-brainer as well. But after the year I've been through with my husband I can honestly say that leaving was so easy to say but actually walking out of the door couldn't have been more difficult. Marriage is hard. Bottom line. But when you work together towards a common goal like 'saving OUR marriage' it becomes a much stronger bond. <br><br>I agree with Shana - your friend is lucky that she has a friend like you to stick by her side and not judge her.Alexiahttp://babiesandbacon.comnoreply@blogger.com