Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday Flip Off

I'm linking up with Mama Kiss for the second time and jumping on the 'Friday Flip Off' train. Hope you'll join me!

This week, I'd like to give the big ole middle one to colds. First my husband got a nasty one, now I have it, and I am positive that my head is going to fall off. I'm also positive that my illness lasts longer than his and is harder on me because I'm home all day with the kids. And they're just little petri dishes that pass it back and forth between us. I see them, licking their hands, licking the door knobs . . . ughh.

A nice bird goes to the freshly fallen leaves in my driveway. You look so pretty. I want to rake you into great mounds of leafy goodness and jump in you with my children. But I can't. Because you are wet from all the rain. So here's a bird to you for ruining my fun plans, you nasty wet things.

Two great big middle ones go to the makers of Halloween costumes, who are obviously on crack and pedophiles. The last time I checked a seven year old pirate did not wear fish net stockings and a strategically ripped mini skirt with a shirt that read 'yo ho ho' on it.  (did ya catch the 'ho' part? Nice.)

Eight bajillion trillion bony middle fingers to adulterous husbands. 'Cheating' is too kind a word for it. Because you are not my husband and I can't say this to your face, I will say it here. This is what I think of you: you are a spineless, wussified, puny, sissy, disgrace of a non-man who does not deserve nor will ever deserve the beautiful, kind, devoted woman he has. Sleep with that.

And finally, a big middle finger to the parents of the second grader on my daughters bus who is flipping other second graders off.  You are seven. Tell your parents you are seven. You should be giving out hugs. You should be laughing and telling knock-knock jokes. But you're not. So to the parents, flip off. And no, the irony isn't lost on me.