*Disclaimer: I use profanity in this post.
Oh, sweet, sweet guilty pleasure. Where to begin describing this new love I have found in Mr. Schuester, Beast, Finn, Arty, Puck and Rachel? (To name just a few.) There are no words. I'm a giddy teenager. But what really gets my heart racing? Kurt. Yes, really. Let me explain.
I watched one or two episodes the first season, but my husband wouldn't watch it with me, so I stopped. I had other shows to watch and it conflicted with them. I moved on. Then a friend posted the sneak peak of "Teenage Dream" from Glee's Tuesday night episode on Facebook. I secretly love this song. So I clicked the link. Here's my inner dialogue:
Hmm, Teenage Dream. Oh, isn't that the gay guy? Huh.
Oh, prep school boys all spiffed up looking fine. Touching the gay guy all weird like.
'cuz he's gaaaay.
Niiiice. *chair dancing*
OH *we see Kurt's face*
*chair dancing* mmm, hot prep school boys. They didn't look like that when I was 17.
. . .put your hands on me in my skintight jeans be my teenage dream tonight . . . (and you'all, I am hawt in my skintight jeans)
Watch (if you haven't already)
Lord *we see Kurt's face again.*
Those boys can dance! I like their uniforms . . . tailored . . . (said like Pauly Shore)
ugh. *Kurt's sweet smile* I stop chair dancing. I stop singing. My heart starts to pound. I actually start to sweat. My hands get clammy as I continue to watch the video.
Kurt's face is so full of hope. So full of kindness. So full of want -- but not sexual, just . . . want. I don't know how to describe it. But I am convinced that when the song ends, the lead singer, who has been making eyes at Kurt, is going to look at Kurt and say, "Faggot!" I am so convinced of this that I feel sick. I sit, glued to my seat, waiting for Kurt's heart to be wrecked. The song ends and I have to get up. Walk around.
The actor playing Kurt has done his job very well. I have been completely sucked in. I am totally invested in Kurt. I believe in him. I am him.
So I watched on Tuesday night. And fell in love. Not just with Kurt, but with the entire show. I mean, it's a given I like all that singing and dancing; I was in drama and on the pom-pon squad in high school. But prior to seeing that prep boy version of Teenage Dream I would have told you that I could not be interested in or pulled in by a homosexual plot line. Then I realized that I didn't even care about that. I cared about Kurt's search for happiness, for his right to just be. I cared that this boy, this fictional character, could be so beat down that he'd follow a massive, hulking moron into a closed room, knowing full well that said moron would most likely kick his butt. And others in his exact same situation have felt worse. Done worse. I have never been so desperate as to put myself in such danger. And I have children.
I may not agree with homosexuality, I may not believe it is what God has chosen for us. I may have a very simplified view of this. I do not care if you are white, black, gay, straight, Chinese, Spanish, male, female, whatever. Nobody has the right to belittle, hate, hurt or demean you. You were created in God's image. You Are Loved. End of discussion.