Saturday, January 15, 2011

20 Years Later . . .

I just got the invitation to my 20 year High School reunion. How insane is that? I was all excited when I got it, thinking about seeing everybody again. Then I really began thinking about it . . . and well, I'm not so excited. I'm conflicted, actually. I'm not even sure I'm going anymore.

See, about two years after graduation something happened that made me realize some of the people I counted as friends from high school were in fact, anything but. For some reason, that I'll never understand, a guy, who I was not friends with, told somebody he and I had slept together. We had not. Or even kissed.  I don't think we ever had a conversation. I assume somebody was drunk and got the facts wrong. However, his girlfriend got wind of this. And believed.  My 'friends' believed all the rumors, as well.  And never said anything to me.

So, a few months later when we were all together at a wedding  and they were rude and hostile toward me, I was confused. Then one of them spoke up. "How could you do that to Mary*? How could you sleep with Joe*?" I was speechless. (And you know it takes a lot to leave me speechless, right??) A guy, Mike,* I was barely friends, stood up for me. "Come on you guys. Kim isn't like that. I was there, and nothing happened between them. Nothing." 

I was in tears.  Mike explained what he knew. I was furious, and so incredibly hurt.  That my 'friends' would not only not tell me this vile thing was being said about me, but that they would believe it? Well, it shook me to my very core.

I realize this was all 20 years ago. I do. But honestly? Do I have any desire to revisit these people again? I know, we were young, reckless etc. But this wounded me. And it opened my eyes to the fact that high school is not real life. That the people I believed were my friends were not and they could not even stand up for one another. They just followed the crowd.  Somebody I barely knew, but who was an independent thinker, stood up for me.

But there were some people who never believed any of this, I found out much later. These are the people I'd like to see. And they are most likely not going to the reunion.

Here's the other part. FaceBook. All the people from high school are on it, we're all 'friends.' Only we weren't 'friends in high school. Back then there were definite lines. Remember? Today, those lines are erased. Or are they? I see the Birthday wishes. I see the 'popular' guy wishing the guy he made fun, horrendously made fun of, wishing him a 'Happy Birthday, Brother!' on FaceBook.

Really? Are the lines totally erased and I'm stuck back then? Or am I being honest? Will the reunion be all fun and reminiscing and the wounds wont' be there? Are the wounds still there?

I just don't know.
*names have been changed, duh :)

PS. If I know you In Real Life (IRL)? I don't want to talk about this with you. Unless I knew you in high school -- as in we went to high school together. Thank you.

Don't forget about Veronica King! Click here or here to help her out! Just click!