Neurotic Mom

As a first time mom, I was very calm and relaxed. What? Shut up.  I so was.  Well, I thought I was. If you had asked me if I was neurotic I would have been offended and told you all the things I did to prove I was not neurotic. Which kind of proves I was, right? Here, peek into my brain . . .

I was not a neurotic, overly concerned, ramped up mom of one child with too much time on her hands to think because I:

*Gave my child a bath every day. And everybody knows you're not supposed to do that. But look at me, ignoring all the rules! I'm reckless!

*Because I bathed my child every day, I used lotion as well. I know. I was told lotion was a no-no, too. So I went all crazy and bought Baby lotion. All natural organic lotion that was made for new borns. Crazy!

*I did not nurse exclusively. Violet totally got bottles as well. Nipple confusion? Bah. (and I will deny that was me, running to every baby store in a 40 mile radius, looking for the 'anatomically' correct latex nipple.) I was so relaxed. (In retrospect? Nursing exclusively probably would have been less stressful than worrying about what nipple to use. She didn't care. I did.)

* I used regular detergent to was my child's clothing. Plain ole Tide. Not the Dreft that all the books scream at you about. Because I'm all crazy that way. But I may have at one time. May. And then mixed Dreft and Tide. Together. To you know, get the babies skin used to the soap.

*I may have read *ahem* studied, "What To Expect During The First Year," but when I started taking color coded notes, I threw it out.

*When I made her first cereal I didn't use distilled water. Look at me, being all loose!
I used breast milk. And would hunt you down if you tried to use something else. (did I just say that out loud?)

*I wasn't against giving my baby formula. But I hooked myself up to that da*n contraption of a milker multiple times a day, every.single.day, only to get 4 oz. of pure gold. There's some calm for you.

*I made Violet's food because it was fun, not because I felt like there weren't healthy options for her at the store. The fact that I had a freezer full of organic mashed potato and greenbeans mixed with breast milk . . . well. She was hungry? Because I.Was.Relaxed.

Oh, the list goes on and on. Things I did with the first that I laughed at with the other two. Things I did with the other two that made me say, "Why on earth did I not do this with the first?" When I became less neurotic in one area, another area popped up. I cloth diaperd Sarah and John . . . oh, sweet neurosis.

Can any mom ever be free from it?