Thursday, February 10, 2011

Stollen From Kit

Top 10 Things That Have Me Laugh  . .  . (and yeah, I totally stole this post idea from Kit at Blogging Dangerously. She's a blogging diva. Judge me.)

1. We were all in the mall last week and a sales woman walked by. Her teeth were . . .not so hot. It looked like one was missing because they were crooked. Sarah piped up, "Hey! You lost a tooth! Did the tooth fairy visit you?"

2. My husband had the kids in the front room watching 'Cars' the other night. I hear the music, the giggles. Then John's rough little voice, "Low and slow, baby. Low and slow."

3. This video, shared on Face Book this morning.

4. I took the girls to get their hair cut yesterday. We walk in and there's a Rolling Stone magazine lying there with Lil' Wayne on the cover. He's all tatted up in prison tat's, low slung jeans with his boxers hanging out, dreads, the nasty sullen look on his face and throwing gang signs. Sarah walks past it, flips her finger across it and says, "What's up with that?"

5. Violet and I argued for 15 minutes last night over how to spell the word 'poem.' I am 38 years old. She is 7 1/2. I'm *pretty* sure I got this. She was *pretty* sure I didn't. Apparently it's spelled 'pome' and even the Webster dictionary that I had her look it up in was wrong. Stupid Websters and it's 100+ years of spelling things. She went on to teach me the correct spellings of 'Martin' -- there is no 'i' and 'against' -- it's actually spelled 'agenst.' Oh, and it's not 'Jim Crow Laws.' It's something like, 'jimlowaws.' In case you, too, are uneducated.

6. As Sarah sat down to get her hair cut, the lady swung the smock around her and had this hideously long, black, claw-like nails. I saw Sarah's eyes following them. I saw her mouth open. I was helpless. Sarah said, "Hey! You are a witch!"

7. While we were waiting to get our hair cut, the kids were looking at hair magazines. I was looking at 'Lil Wayne. What? I like the fantastically weird.

8. As the kids were looking at the magazines I hear Sarah (of course) say, "Wow. She is hawt." I said, "Uhm, WHAT?" She said, "This lady. Really haaawwt, Mom." And yeah, she was saying 'hot' just like that. Then she showed me the picture and said, "See? Her shirt is red. Like it's on fire. She is so hot!"

9. When Sarah said, "Wow. She is hawt." John's little head snapped around so fast he dropped his magazine. He's four.

10. I was talking to my dear friend and blogging goddess, Diana, on the phone, yesterday. We were talking about limiting television time. Then Sarah and John ran into the room screaming to watch iCarly.