OK. I'm a bitch. I get that. And judgey. I get that, too. What I am not? Ignorant when it comes to what my body looks like.
I know that I could stand to lose a few more pounds. That my arms are a little soft. I know that I should always wear deep scoop or V neck shirts to lengthen my neck.
I also know that I should not, ever again, wear a string bikini.
Never. Ever. EVER.
Did I rock one years ago? Yes. When I was 21. Am I 21? That would be a large, three kids and 30 pounds later no.
Yesterday we went to a water park.
And OMG my eyes. Gouge them out.
Listen, be confident in your body, please. Work your curves, please. But be smart, be realistic.
I think I look good at the weight I am. I think I look good in my bathing suit. However, I am not Heidi Klum.
My bathing suit? Covers my rear end. It covers my stomach that has been stretched out by three children and ice cream. It hides the bit of bra fat I have from breast feeding and peanut butter by the spoon full.
I am not a bathing suit model. I know it.
But there was a woman at the park yesterday that thought she was. Oh, yes she did. And I was horrified. My husband was horrified. I think Violet was horrified. I saw other people eyeing her. It was a train wreck of monumental proportions.
She had on the tiniest of string bikini's. The tiniest. Four tiny triangles and some string tied into a couple straining bows. And her stomach hung over the bottom so much that it covered it up. Except when she raised her arms. Then? You.Saw.Hair. *throws up in mouth*
The string on her top kept getting caught in her bra fat. And pulling the triangles in the front sideways. It wasn't pretty. Her belly button ring? Pointed down.
And she strutted around, swinging her hips. Tossing her hair.
Why? Are we that sexualized that any nakedness is good nakedness? That just showing skin, regardless of what it looks like, is a good thing? Has our society become so much about sex, about skin, about showing off everything and leaving nothing to the imagination that the majority of people now believe they must show everything to fit in? I wonder if this woman looked in her mirror when she put on that bathing suit and thought, "I look good. This looks good." In some way I did feel badly for her -- especially after I saw her super skinny friend walking around with her. But that doesn't change the fact that on some level this woman believed that showing all of herself was the appropriate thing to do.
There was another woman there, who somehow kept ending up standing by the string bikini lady. She had on this adorable blue bathing suit, strapless, that skimmed down into a dress. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was gorgeous. And larger than the woman in the string bikini. But she was dressed appropriately and looked amazing for it.
And please, God, tell me that someone was thinking the same thing about me.
**spell check will not run on this lap top, so once again, please ignore any typo's. Please!**