Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Everybody Is Talking About It

It seems that depression/ppd is a hot topic these days. I was watching an old episode of 'The Glades' and they did an entire episode on PPD psychosis. My first thought was, "Everybody has it? Everybody is depressed? Everybody is talking about it? Let's all jump on the depression train." Then I stopped and thought about it. And said, "Yes please. PLEASE. Please jump on, regular network shows. Show normal people dealing with this issue. Show everyday people crushed by depression and fighting it.

I don't really understand why my first reaction was negative. Maybe I felt patronized, as if the show didn't really 'get' it. But as I watched I realized that they did. They treated the subject with respect and dignity -- exactly the way it should be. I was grateful and felt as though we were moving forward.

Two days later, while watching iCarly with my daughter I realized I was wrong. In that show they put Sam, one of the main characters, in a mental hospital. Because she kisses a guy she thinks she hates. The patients in the hospital are all exaggerated stereotypes. The man who hears voices, the woman drooling in a corner, someone who lives in their world. A bumbling guard. My daughter was watching this. Someday she'll know I spent time in a mental hospital. And this was her first glimpse into what it was like? I was saddened and angered. Not wanting to draw attention to myself or the topic, I did nothing. Which just angered me further.

This is weird and rambling post. I realize this. I guess it's more a stream of consciousness, than a true post. I'm just frustrated that as soon as I think we, as a society, are breaking down the walls of depression, busting the stereotypes wide open, something else comes along and builds them back up, brick by brick. And for a younger generation. No wonder it doesn't go away.

It's one thing for me to joke about my time spent in the hospital. I know what I saw. I see the dark humor in it. I saw the sad stereotypes -- but that's what it was, sad. Because each stereotype was a person with a story behind them. And I believe I'm one of those stereotypes: Middle class housewife, from the outside she has it all. Inside she is completely losing it. She's medicating herself into oblivion until she cracks and ends up in the very place she fears. Twice.

And just when I think I've proven that it's not all bad, that it can happen to anyone, that I'm NOT a stereotype, some silly show like iCarly comes along and bashes me. That easily I was knocked down. Perhaps I haven't come as far as I think.

Needless to say, iCarly isn't allowed in our home anymore. Violet thinks it's because two of the main characters are dating this season and that's too old for her. I have another reason.

14 comments:

  1. Television (especially god awful Disney shows) will almost always play to the cheap joke and stereotype. If there is a stereotype, they will exploit it. Instead of using their power to help break them, they play to think. They are reactionary instead of proactive in the fight against all kinds of discrimination unless it's some kind of awareness month.
    I think it helps to make big deals about ones who are doing something to help instead of pander.

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  2. That is appalling.
    We work so hard to dispell all the stigmas yet we are fought fiercly back by the media.
    I don't get it.
    Would they portray an illness like cancer in this light?
    Heck no.
    Why must they always bash mental illnesses?

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  3. I think that there has been a lot more acceptance and understanding of those with mental illnesses & that is amazing and great to see. People speaking up and talking about it is incredible. It's terrible that a show aimed at young kids would portray such an important topic with such bad 'humor' - who knows who they are hurting or forcing to hid with that garbage.

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  4. Oh, Kim - that's so horrible.

    I do think that depression, and especially postpartum depression, are far less taboo in modern society.

    And I know kids shows need to trivialize complex issues - but, yeah, that was just horrible portrayal. I'd ban iCarly for a slew of reasons, though . . . that near the top of the list.

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  5. Um, these comments are amazing. You have some smart readers.

    I agree. Shows that bash any type of illness are unhelpful and degrading to the people who have or are strutting with them. And my heart hurts for you in knowing that was her first exposure to what you went through.

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  6. That is horrible. I think you should share your thoughts with Nickelodeon. Their treatment is offensive. I get that they are trying to be "light hearted" or whatever, but why even do something like that on a kids show? In a mental hospital for kissing a boy? WTF is that.

    Hugs friend. And I totally get the first gut feeling.

    You are awesome.

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  7. I have been thinking of writing to Nickelodeon. Somebody should - why not me? Thanks for the vote of confidence :)

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  8. I do have some pretty amazing readers, don't I? I don't know how I became so blessed. Hopefully Violet won't remember this episode, especially since iCarly no longer is on in our home.

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  9. Yeah, iCarly is not welcome in our home. It's made me re-think my TV standards - which were strict before but are now even more so.

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  10. That's what amazed me - did nobody on the show say, "hmmm, this is in really poor taste." ? It was very hurtful. And then to have my daughter see it. . . I do believe I'll write to the network.

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  11. You're absolutely right - they'd never poke fun at an illness such as cancer, yet this is completely acceptable. With so much support, from all of you, I'm feeling more empowered. I'm going to write to the network, and if it's alright with you, Kimberly, use this as an examle.

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  12. You're so right! If it's an awareness month, they're all, "be politically correct!" but when it comes to the other times of the year, obviously not. This show is on Nickelodeon and I'm finding it to be the same. I'm editing out SO many shows . . . and I was crazy strict before. The kids are finding that they have about 2 shows that are appropriate, and only on On Demand, because I've seen those episodes. Remember the days of The Cosby Show? Oh, how I long for those!

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  13. How sick! We don't have cable but I know how popular iCarly is. Which means the millions of young people got that message, and even if they didn't know how to process it, the stigma will be there unless a thoughtful parent talks it out of them. So irresponsible and so backwards. Another good reason for no Nick in my house (as if SpongeBob wasn't enough!).

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  14. While it may be true that there have been great gains in fighting the stigma of mental illness, people who don't have depression may miss a lot of negative references that still exist.
    Unless you've worried about whether you'll lose your job if anyone at work finds out, or flinch at someone's joke about the "looney bin" because they don't realize that you have been "there," you may not perceive things like the iCarly program as truly inappropriate on your own. Kudos to Kim for pointing this out and making us all more aware that as a society we still need to be more sensitive!
    Jodi

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