Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Stepford? Possibly.

Diana at Hormonal Imbalances wrote a post on Monday that got people crazy mad. It was about how being a good, attentive, present mom does not mean you have a dirty house.

*gasp*

I agree.

 And I have to say that I haven't stopped thinking about that post and the reaction she received -- or the long talk we had on the phone about it -- since then. 

I remembered this quote while on the phone with Diana:

I didn't go to college to clean house


And while I pretty much agree, well, then again, I don't, completely.


I kind of did go to college to stay home and clean. And raise my children. Going to college educated me. Afforded me the ability to be an independent and intelligent woman who met an independent and intelligent man, was able to converse with him about mutually important issues. He is a highly  educated attorney and has the same wants/standards as I do.  Because of my education and degree (and yes, it's a great degree, thankyouverymuch) I was given opportunities that allowed me to meet other people who had similar educations as I did, such as my husband. Who I then married. And have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom.  NO I'm not saying I went to college for my MRS. degree. I was long out of college when I met my husband.  And  I'm not saying that if you didn't go to college you don't get to stay home.

Also, If my husband works all day, in some ways, shouldn't I as well? If I'm not cleaning, as so many women seem to feel this is below them or they are too busy, what else should I be doing? Completely and actively engaged with the children every single minute of every day? Or getting "me" time? Blogging, texting, chatting, surfing, tweeting? I don't think so. I should be taking care of my home.  Not that I should slave and clean and make us live in a museum. But I believe that part of my job -because I believe that is what this is, my job - is to keep a clean a house. Cook my family nice meals (for the most part. I'm not saying noodles and butter don't grace our table.) Make sure the laundry is done. You can't eat off my floors. But you don't stick to them either. My priority is this family, this home. Why else would we - myself and my husband - have chosen to have me stay home?

And yes, I play with my children.

All.the.time.

We do crafts. Paint. Color. Dress up. Dance. Sing. Laugh. If you follow me on Instagram you saw John's StarBucks car not long ago. You saw my dinning room table on Friday when the kids were off school. I was a teacher for five years before I became a stay at home mom, So trust me when I say I know how to get my craft on.

My children are my first priority. Always. And if it's between them and dusting, I'll always chose them. However, making them my priority also means that they have a clean house and good meals.

I love my job. I love that it allows me all the time in the world to spend with and on my children. I love the time it affords me to spend on my home, organizing, cleaning and making it just the way I want it

I consider myself blessed and privileged to be a stay at home mom. It's my job. And I do my best at my job.

Now. Before you go getting all crazy mad here, realize that I am not judging you. I am judging myself. These are my standards. Your standards at your house? Your deal. Not mine. Now, if you come to my house and judge me? Decide that because my house is somewhat clean, or happens to be cleaner than yours and that I'm not a good mom? Oh, then the I will bring the judgement.