I used to secretly be a little jealous of working moms, I admit. They had this whole other world, this whole other 'gig' to be responsible for. They got to work at a computer like an adult, have adult conversations with other adults on the phone.
I was jealous, I admit.
Then I became, KINDA, in a very, small infinitesimal way, a working mom. A work from home mom for only a few hours a week.
OMG.
You guys.
I bow to you. I'm not worthy.
The anxiety. The constant worry that I've forgotten something, anything. Something big, something little. But that I forgot. I also worry about, are you ready? That I lied. Really. I worry that I accidentally lied about my hours, even though I meticulously document them, or my expenses, even though I have receipts for any of those.
I worry about accidentally lying. I worry about forgetting things. Every.single.day.
And then there is the mom stuff. I'm constantly torn: what to do first? The work stuff or the mom stuff? Do I work and let the kids play? Or do mom work and let the kids play? Or play with the kids and let everything else wait until after bedtime and I'm exhausted?
There's no easy answer, except I wasn't prepared for this. I knew there'd be an adjustment period - but I thought it would be an adjustment period of just my time management skills, not my anxiety ridden messed up mind skills as well.
So, full time working mamma's? You're rock stars. Full fledged, Lady Gaga, Madonna, Kelly Clarkson ROCKSTARS. YOU bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan.
Yeah, as a former working mom, I have to say that while SAHM-ing has its challenges to be sure, for me, it is much simpler. MAD props to the working mamas from me always.
ReplyDeleteI bring home some of the bacon and let Jdaddy fry it up. ;-) That's how I make it work.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but you lumping me in with Lady Gaga AND Madonna Rock Star Level? That made my day ;)
ReplyDeleteYou know, when I went on my first business trip, I did the same . . . I took copies of my receipts as soon as I could, just in case I misplaced something. And then I realized that I was traveling when it was "normal business hours" and I felt guilty about "not working," but then I realized that I wasn't exactly doing what I would have normally been doing.
ReplyDeleteYou get over it. I promise :-)
I walked in both shoes.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how either Mom does both.
Does that mean I need more wine?
I am quite confident that if I had to try to work with my current case of "mommy brain" it would take a while for the fog to clear! I an sure you will be rocking it in no time!
ReplyDeleteWait wait wait! Working from home blows the whole argument of who-has-it-harder out of the water! I'm a hybrid-mom (work outside the home/work at home/stay at home) depending on the day of the week and by far, my toughest days are when I work at home. I find myself working at ungodly hours when I should be relaxing, because I've spent all day taking care of the kids while somehow juggling work and house duties. Its exhausting I tell ya. Work outside the home - now that's a luxury! My easiest days are when I drop kids off at daycare and go merrily on my way to the office. I realize its purely personal for every mom, but this is just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how you do it. Just blogging on here and answering emails makes me feel guilty. And there really isn't any reason to. Heck, I spend more time with you on the phone than I do with blogging stuff...
ReplyDeleteI mean. No. Nonsense. ;)
I dont' know that I'm doing it very well right now, but thank you. :) (and you shouldn't feel guilty, for you blogging is a job!)
ReplyDeleteAmber, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! This made me feel worlds better. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteWe'll see . . . thank you for your confidence :)
ReplyDeleteYES, more wine is definately needed. I'm on my way, I have two bottles.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear I'm not the first person to feel this way. I'm going to believe you that I'll get past this!
ReplyDeleteWell, duh. You ARE a rockstar, right??
ReplyDeleteTHAT is genius.
ReplyDeleteSimpler is a great way to understanding it. It's frantic and crazy etc, and I'm juggling things, but they're all things I know. You said it well.
ReplyDeleteThe Mommy-guilt never goes away...but I do the best I can. I've missed some school things, and time with Hannah is tight sometime, but I see how well-adjusted she is and figure Nick and I must be doing something right! :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you started working at home--that's great! Hope we can catch up soon and I can hear more.