For the past week Violet has been rattling my brain and testing every parenting skill I have -- small as they may be.
On Monday night she had a softball game - and it turns out that this year Violet is quite good at softball (she's also the oldest on her team . . .). I was home with Sarah and John so I missed her antics, but my husband called me he was so angry with her. She kept asking for snacks and when he'd bring them to her she'd say, "Oh, I don't want that any more." She did it three times. Maybe because she was around her friends and was getting cocky? Because she noticed that the coaches on the other team were moving their girls back when she got up to bat? I don't know, but she was so rude to him. Then she got the game ball - which is incredibly cool, but only fed her ego. On the way home he told her he didn't think she should play softball anymore. The plan was for me to 'talk' him out of it. Good cop/bad cop style.
The problem? When she came stomping and grunting into the house she wouldn't even talk to me. I let her go upstairs to calm down. Only she didn't calm down. At the prodding of my husband I went up there, which was such a bad, bad idea.
Oh, so bad.
It ended with her throwing a pillow across the room and a spanking.
So, so bad.
At one point I asked her, "Do you think you're that good? That you're so good you can treat us this way?"
And she said yes.
Oh.My.
So, yeah.
I'm so upset that it ended in a spanking. We haven't spanked her in I don't even know how long. It's not something we do anymore. She's too old. We don't like to parent that way anymore.
But there you have it.
Wow. Is it too early to blame hormones? (not that it would make it any better). Parenting can really suck sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI've got nothing......but huge HUGS for you. :)
ReplyDeleteOuch. I am so not ready for this age and all that goes with it. I was just thinking today about how complex my relationship with Chessa seems and she's only two. TWO. It's only going to get harder, huh?
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why I fear raising a girl....
ReplyDelete*shudders*
And *hugs*
Oh no.... Those days are coming. Why can't they grow but stay their sweet selves? Hugs mama. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteUgh, CJ is two and already tries my patience this way. He likes to hit me a lot, and kick when I change his diaper. I have to admit, there have been times in which I was so mad, I just hit him back. Same as you not a proud moment, but you feel so powerless and helpless and frustrated. I know it just gets tougher as they get older. I taught 8th grade. I know the 'tude.
ReplyDeleteBut you have to just have faith that you raised her to be a better person than her behavior. The tween/teen years are like an alien invasion, and you have to wait them out to see the true Violet. May the Force Be with You.
Thank you so much for this, Duffy. And I need The Force. And wine. Lots of wine.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I have two to raise. You need to even the odds here. ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL, it does get harder in some ways, yes. But I promise, in some ways it gets easier. They seem to get moodier, but they can also, when they want to, tell you why. Which makes for some good bonding. And the girl time is so.much.fun!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jen. I could use that hug!
ReplyDeleteNope, I think the hormones are already rearing their ugly heads. I mean, if she already needs the beginnings of a bra . . . so, puberty should be fun around here. Want to visit??
ReplyDelete