My children, mainly John know of my many doctors.
And I hate it.
On Monday I had to go to the doctor for just a 'regular' appointment and John was full of questions.
"Are we going to the doctor with the doggy?" That is my psychiatrist.
"Are we going to the doctor with the sand box?" That's my therapist.
"The doctor with the puzzles and books?" My regular doctor.
"Is it my doctor, with the sticks?" His pediatrician, and he gets to play with the tongue depressors while we wait for the doctor to come to our room.
That's four doctors, not counting my OB/GYN, and he doesn't remember that one only because it's been a year since 'we' went.
Four.
That's way too many.
I hate that he has had to come with me and play while I've cried and bared my secrets. I've thanked God that he's been too young and pre-occupied thus far to understand what has been going on.
I hate that he's been in the room as I've discussed medicine I don't want to take, medicine with names that have made me cry, while he's played happily with Diego dolls and a docile dog.
I know that he's hit the age where this is not longer possible. This summer when I go to my appointments I'll need a sitter for all three of the kids. Thankfully John will be in kindergarten in the fall so I won't have to plan my appointments around him or take him with me any more.
But up until now he's gone with me.
And I'm done.
I completely get this.
ReplyDeleteWhen I had PPD, I took him frequently when he was in his car seat. My psychiatrist has seen him grow.
I try really hard to schedule appointments in the evening but we all know how hard they are to get.
I also have chronic back pain so i see a pain specialist.
I have B12 deficiency so I see a doctor for shots and blood work once a month.
And then there was the whole gallbladder issue.
Sigh...
You know? The other side of this is that you're showing him that it's good to get help. It may not be ideal but he's learning that when you can't fix something on your own you go to a doctor and that's not a bad thing. We want to be invincible super heros to our kids, but someday they will feel better just knowing we are human.
ReplyDeleteI've never had to take my kids with me but I can understand how nervewracking that might be.
ReplyDeleteBut I feel ya on the multiple doctors. I'm tired of making up excuses to leave work!
Simply? Hugs. Lots & lots of hugs.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, OB/GYN, Endocrinologist, Internist, Dermatologist, Gastroenterologist . . . stop counting, just take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Krista! I was going to say the same thing. You have been able to show your kids that it's okay to ask for (and receive) help when you need it. When things are too much to handle, you ask for help. :) It took me a while to realize that T's anxiety was taking a big toll on me. Actually, it took several public breakdowns for me to realize it. LOL! But when I decided to talk to someone and get help dealing with everything I told Tyler that's what I was doing. He had seen me crying and knew I was upset when he was upset. So I told him I was going to talk to someone about how it made me feel. I think it made him feel better about seeing a therapist to know I was too.
ReplyDeleteI've gotta agree with Krista on this one. All of these doctors appts are teaching John a really important lesson. Taking care of ourselves and getting help is of the utmost importance. I think it's especially valid for little men to see that being treated isn't a negative thing. I do understand where you're coming from as a mom though. Having to be vulnerable in front of our kids and not always be 'alright' is just hard. Good f
ReplyDeleteGood for you for making it five years to all of those appts with babies in tow!!
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long haul, thank you :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jen. It means a lot to hear you say this. And I'm so very glad to hear you say you're seeing somebody - that has to be rough, watching Tyler go through that. And you're right, it's good to teach our kids that getting help is a good and natural thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, John. A hug is much appreciated :)
ReplyDeleteMultiple docs and multiple appointments gets to be so depressing in and of itself, doesn't it? It's a vicious circle, but I know it's helping.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much, Krista. I have never looked at it like this before. I really, really appreciate this view - it changed how I was thinking about taking my kids with me and aleviated so much guilt. THANK YOU.
ReplyDeleteI so hear you. Tell ya what, let's swap babysitting while we hit our appointments :) I'll try to not let my three teach Chunky to gang up on you like they do me, and you don't teach mine any Chuck Norris moves, OK? Good deal. :)
ReplyDelete