My family drove to Michigan this summer. It's about a 12 hour drive from where we live, between the three kids, potty training, boredom, insanity, hunger and my god the need to get me out of the van before I lose my mind and hurt my husband.
I planned for this trek so well. I shopped for new and exciting toys, snacks, drinks and videos. I had everything incredibly well organized. I had a couple books for me to read and a knitting project ready to go. I was with it, people.
Yeah . . . except the kids were not interested in my cool snacks, drinks and videos. Nope. They wanted . . . ugh, it is so hard to admit it.. . they . . .wanted . . . Starbucks. And people? They knew what they wanted. By name. They could order it. Faster than you could. My husband? Was horrified. I was well, a bit impressed if I'm being honest with myself. And also, yes, embarrassed. But wait! Let me explain why my children can order 'a tall strawberries and cream frappachino, heavy on the whip and a petite vanilla scone' faster than most children can recite the alphabet.
My sister in law works at Starbucks!! See? Totally exonerated! And she worked at one only 2 1/2 miles from my house. And it was on my way to the pool. Where I had to go every single day this summer. And she gave me the family discount. Because let's be honest, there is absolutely no other way I could afford to give my children Starbucks like I did. She also split one frappachino between the three of them. And my kids totally renamed the drink 'frappachino.' They call it a 'frappachonie.' So now everyone at that store calls it a 'frappachonie.' And it is the cutest damn thing ever. And there is the cutest guy there with the most amazing voice who is always singing. And, my kids love their Aunt. Love, love, love her. So they got to see her all the time. I got to see their faces light up. I got coffee. It was a win - win.
Fast forward to our trip to Michigan. Now my kids are rolling their eyes at their father as he attempts to take them to cafe knock-off while I buy us real coffee from Starbucks. I honestly thought it wasn't going to be a problem. Then I saw Violet roll her eyes. I saw Sarah scan the bakery case for the petite 'stones' as she calls them. I saw John's face scrunch up in anger as he realized that Aunt Kewwy (ahem. That's Kerry) wasn't working at this Starbucks in the middle of Pennsylvania. Then they all planted themselves in the line, just like they did every.single.day back home, and began yelling out their orders to me.
"I want a strawberries and cream frappachonie!"
"I want a birthday cake cupcake!"
"Do they have petites stones? I don't see any vanilla bean petite stones, Mommy."
"Can I have a vanilla bean frappachonie, no whip, Mommie? The whip melts and I don't like it."
"Or, can I please have a mocha chip frappachonie? I promise I won't let the caffeine bother me."
Oh. My. Can you say snob??
Again, my husband was horrified. He was all, "How many times a week do you go to Starbucks?" While I was trying to shush the kids and not answer the question. (Because really, the question should have been, how many times a day.)
The people in line were checking my kids out and rolling their eyes at us. Obviously. For good reason. I wanted to shout the really, really good reasons why my kids knew all this stuff about Starbucks! But I couldn't because I had to concentrate so hard on figuring out how to order what I wanted. *sigh* Because when I go to Starbucks? They just know what I want and make it for me.
Snobbish? I think so.
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