Friday, December 10, 2010

12/10 Flip Off

It's Friday already!! So once again I'm linking up with the wonderful and talented Momma Kiss for Friday Flip Off. Are you ready? Get set, go!

A perfectly manicured, soft, wrinkle free middle one goes to aging. There's no need. I don't want the 'fine lines' or the 'smile lines.' I don't want the sagging breasts or extra rim of fat around my middle. I don't want my thighs touching where they are not supposed to. I don't want to buy extra stretchy boots to fit my calves because I'm no longer 20.  I want a late night to be 2 a.m, not 11 p.m. I want to dance the night away -- and not to 'oldies.' But I still want all my babies, all the knowledge I've gained, my husband, my family and my home. Kay? So  I've decided. I get to keep that stuff and not age. My birthday is next week and I'll be . . . older :) 38 to be exact. But I'm pretty sure I'm actually 28. So, a pretty, young, bouncy, pert flip off to you, aging ungracefully!!

Two, very large, fat, ice cream, chocolate and snack covered ones go to men's metabolism. Really? This is some messed up crap. My husband and I started The Flat Belly Diet on Sunday. On Wednesday he weighed himself. He had lost 7 pounds. Read that again. 7 pounds. We started it on Sunday. Suuuunnnnndaaaayyyyy. I? have lost nothing. So, *forget* you, men's metabolism. (unless you're going to lay some of that on me. Then I'm totally fine with it.)

A stinky, dirty, stained one goes to laundry. My lord. I went one day without doing it. A day. And now I cannot catch up. Yesterday it was spilling into the hallway and the kids had to shove the bathroom door open to get to the sink. Do I  have 19 kids? Is my name Michelle Duggar? And today, as I was digging through the mountainous pile? Wet dish cloths. At the bottom. All nasty and smelly.I think I deserve a laundress. Until then, flip it, laundry.

Ahhh. Momma Kiss is such a smart woman. What a great idea. Link up, you'll feel better!