Thursday, December 2, 2010

I Did Not Inhale

I've just started watching the show 'Weeds' -- I know, I'm way behind, right? So the other night, I'm happily watching when one of the characters says he's gotten his 'med card' so he can get marijuana legally. Because he's depressed. Of course, in the show he's faking it just to get high, but my head snapped around. Marijuana to treat depression? What?? I've heard about it's ability to calm queasy stomachs due to chemotherapy/radiation, and pain. But depression?
My mind reeled. Because honestly, medical marijuana was always something abstract to me, something unreal and shady. Then the word depression entered into play and I was forced to stop and think about it being a viable treatment option -- for anything.

So I did some research. Now, the people who are for medical marijuana period, are of course saying yes! Marijuana treats depression! I found a lot of 'research' that said marijuana could treat anything from acne to cancer to depression to getting a date. But the more I read the more I started digging out the real research. The consensus, of the pro side, seems to be, that with the right strain of marijuana (and don't ask me to get into that. You need to combine two different strains and make your own hybrid. Hello, MILF marijuana Ala Weeds.) in low doses, and taken in food or a tincture, marijuana has shown to be better than antidepressants at helping those with depression.

 I was on antidepressants for years. And they? Did nothing for me. I was wallowing around, trying all sorts of combinations of them. I'm now on different meds that have completely changed my life. But . . .

What if, in the midst of all that hell, I'd been told of these studies. What if I'd been presented with the data I just read? What if I lived in a medically legal state? I thought I would tell you I'd say, "No way. It's marijuana."

But. I don't know. When I look back on what my life was, and what it is now. And that maybe, just maybe this other drug could have given me this . .  I honestly don't know. I know I was desperate. I know I was trying any combination of drugs thrown at me. What if the psychiatrist had said, "Let's try this."? And it was legal?

Suddenly something I thought was total crap, and just an excuse for people to get high . . . well it has a use. My conservative brain has opened and a bit of liberalism has creeped in. What if nothing else worked?  What if this new med I'm on didn't work? I start to cry just thinking about it. I can no longer just say, "No, it's total crap" without truly thinking about it from all angles. I don't know that I would go for it. But I also don't know that I wouldn't. And that? Rocks my world.

What do you think?