Thursday, March 3, 2011

Dear "Friends Of Josh Groban": Really??

Warning: this is rant! Oh, yes it is!!

Dear "Friends Of Josh Groban,"

If you are here from 'the boards'? Keep reading. You won't be disappointed. I promise.

For the rest of you, my 'normal' readers? Neither will you. I promise.

Pre-sale tickets went on sale for Josh Groban's concert yesterday. The Internet was a-buzz with anticipation. As was I. Over at FOJG (Friends of Josh Groban)? Insanity. Some friends and I, knowing about pre-sales etc, had established a membership (yes, a membership, as in a fan club membership) to 'Friends of Josh Groban' last year. And for you here from the boards? YES, a group of us went in on one single membership. *gasp* Then the details were released and we discovered that the ticket limit was four and we needed five tickets. Cue many special words. So I sat down in front of my computer and bought another blankity blank fan club membership.

FOJG members, do not think I am making fun of your friendships, your connections, I am not. I have been on the free boards, the boards you do not need a membership to be on, for 4 years. Those boards are where I went to find those first gems of info about Josh Groban when I discovered that he made my children sleep. It was there that I met a beautiful group of women. A group of women who have supported and loved me these past four years through some trying and difficult times. We talk all the time. We meet at least once a year, and this year when we meet we'll be going to a Josh Groban concert together. So no, don't even think I'm knocking your friendships.

The procedure for abtaining said pre-sale tickets was unclear at first. I spent a day on the computer figuring out what to do. A day. I am an educated woman. I was not launching a nuclear weapon. I was purchasing concert tickets. But it seems the powers that be over at FOJG do not see it this way. It was a mess of questions, chat rooms, emails, more questions. I.was.buying.concert.tickets.

Did I mention that I had to buy a fan club membership? Yes, yes I did. As a member of "Friends of Josh Groban" I received a code which allowed me access to a pre-sale of tickets.

[caption id="attachment_438" align="alignright" width="150" caption="My membership packet. It has a laminated card. Jealous much?"][/caption]

(I also received a patch. A patch. To put on a coat. Yes. So I can proudly display my love for Josh at any and all events I attend. So that when I'm there and get asked, "Are you on the boards? In that snarky, snide way we've all heard, I can show my patch off and prove my solidarity to all things Josh. *Excuse me while I go vomit.*) I was able to buy tickets two days before the general public -- before preferred credit card holders etc. Was I excited? Beyond. Did I get awesome seats? Awe.some. Let me say it again: Awesomely awesome seats. Seats with awesome sauce on them. So the $19.99 I spent was worth it.

BUT:

I am going to throat punch the next FOJG 'board' member who rants about non-members who have access to seats before 'we' do. I am going to square up and knock you down, like the snitch I am, the next time I hear you whine about giving the best seats to the 'true fans.'

Let me explain to your closed little minds that those seats that were taken even before the pre-sale? The ones that had your panties all in a bunch? Were sold to people who paid thousands and thousands of dollars to attend concert events. Thousands. Not $19.99 or even $39.99 to be an 'ultimate' member of FOJG.  So they? Get dibs on those fine seats.

Selling the best seats to 'true fans.'  Yeah. . . As in the fans who have bought a freaking membership to a juvenile fan club that allows you access to boards where you can chat in rooms where you are moderated in case you say something inappropriate about Josh Groban. (Out of curiosity, what does inappropriate include? I think he's hot. As in, if  I were single (and not totally & completely in love with husband), and 8 years younger, and living in LA, and we ran in the same circles, I'd tell him how amazingly talented he is. And then I'd totally tell him he's kiss-worthy hot. Like run my hands through his hair and hold his piano hands hot. Is that inappropriate?) This makes you a 'true fan.'? Oh.my.gawd. Here's a news flash:

When my son was eight months old he was sick. And in the hospital. Undergoing a ton of tests. The only thing that calmed him, relaxed him into sleep, was the music of Josh Groban. I spent days in the hospital, my ipod at John's ear, Josh's music playing to him in order to bring John some peace as he was prodded, blood was drawn, wires were dropped down his throat, probes attached to his head, needles inserted into his tiny veins. Later, when I lost my damn mind and spent two weeks in the hospital for depression, the song, "February Song" became a mantra for me. An acknowledgement that maybe, just maybe somebody else had felt this way before. So I'm pretty sure I'm a 'true fan.'

FOJG members: My name is Violetsarah.

If you are a FOJG member and this doesn't apply to you? My sincerest apologies. That means you found this amusing. If you found this offensive? Then I'm talking about you.

For my 'regular' readers, feel free to gag. However, this doesn't mean I'm not still *totally* in love with the man.  :) I'm going to two concerts. Two! And I'll be all kinds of excited leading up to them. And I'll be posting pictures and videos after them. Be prepared!! :) And, you're welcome.

20 comments:

  1. ::snort::

    I used to have a Lisa Frank patch when I was, oh, 8?

    Somewhere, Kim, a 13 year old is weeping on her bed at the thought of you running your hands through Josh's hair. For shame.

    :p

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  2. Diana, you kill me. At 13? She's much, much too young for him. Just sayin'

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  3. I agree, at 13, yah she's too young to care about him. I read in the paper the other day that he turned 30 and I thought to myself, it's about darn time!
    Can't wait to see your pics and videos :)

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  4. This totally cracked me up. I'm obviously, not a FOJG. ;-)

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  5. I take it you're a Josh Groban fan, then?

    I'm sure glad you got those tickets for the good seats with the extra awesome sauce or I'd be very afraid for anyone who crossed your path. Lol!

    Btw, I love that you say "awesome sauce". Cracks me up every single time. :D

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  6. You forgot to mention that this will be your FIRST JOSH GROBAN concert and I know our seats are split up, but I soooo have to sit next to you. I have to be there when you "experience" his voice L-I-V-E! You will sit there mesmorized...okay, maybe not you! Maybe you'll scream your bloody head off, in between bouts of uncontrollable tears. OMJ, I sooo can't wait to see this concert with you.

    And don't feel bad about buying TWO FOJG memberships, because as much as I love you, you never paid me your portion of the FIRST one ;p (yes, seriously you forgot - but I wasn't going to hound you for 6 bucks and change, ya know) So, anyway, if that's bothering you, it shouldn't; you didn't buy 2 memberships.

    One thing you forgot to mention to your readers that are NON Josh fans, is the stalking afterwards....how could you forget THAT part? LOL

    Hugs!

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  7. As long as you could laugh!

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  8. Right? Oughta my way! :) The concert is going to be epic. And totally awesome. With awesome sauce :)

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  9. I seriously didn't pay you? Gah. I'm so awesome. I promise to pay you for the NYC concert ticket, kay? And *I* totally forgot about the stalking!

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  10. Kimmie- I am crying. I feel this way about John Mayer. I met him before he was a "big deal" and have done all sorts of borderline stalkery things regarding him. I have my own rant related to the fact that my money lines his pockets and the last time I was selected by the fan club to go backstage for a meet and greet I was advised I could NOT take pictures. So, I said forget that, give my passes to somebody else. I love this. It cracks me up.

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  11. Oh my gosh! This.is.hilarious.

    "Yeah. . . As in the fans who have bought a freaking membership to a juvenile fan club that allows you access to boards where you can chat in rooms where you are moderated in case you say something inappropriate about Josh Groban"<----------- omg! I loved this!!! Died laughing. No lies.

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  12. PS I have a big wordpress designer who is letting be a guinea pig with her book that she wrote on how to switch your blog over to WP on your own. I'm getting the book this weekend! I'm terrified & excited all at the same time!

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  13. Go backstage and NOT take a picture?? Uhm . . . why are we backstage again? Riiight. To.take.pic.tures. Of Me with YOU, Mr. Famous! Wow. We should exchange stories. And strategies. :)

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  14. Do you think I was inappropriate?? Glad I made you laugh :)

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  15. Was that inappropriate? :) Glad I made you laugh!

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  16. Yeah! And you can SO do it!!

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  17. This was great. I can't say I'm a Josh Groban fan but I AM a die-hard Dave Matthews Band fan and it's the same over there. The same. Except I probably would do naughty things to Dave, despite the fact that I'm very completely happily married to the man of my dreams.

    but don't tell HIM that.....

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  18. Shhhh, I just *might* do naughty things as well . . . but that's our little secret!

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  19. You are so stinking cute and this was hilarious.

    Also? I am a John Mayer "friend" and I got my code that got me 7th row tickets to his concert last year. Me=almost pass out. It was awesome.

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  20. Being a 'friend' does have it's advantages, even if we're all dorky sometimes :) And the passing out? Right there with you!!

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