Last night I chatted with a friend across the Atlantic Ocean. We've never met in person, but she is a dear, dear friend and I love her deeply. She's warm and funny, kind and loving. She has the sweetest smile and the absolute loveliest voice. Recently she sent me an e-mail with the subject line, "Hey Kim" and then she just asked for help.
A mutual friend, knowing what I've been through, suggested she tell me what was going on. And so we've been talking two or three times a week about depression and meds and therapy. About doing the work and how hard it is. About letting go of things and making new habits. About crying jags, memory loss, triggers, living, not living, surviving and the fact that she will survive and dammit, she will live. (Do you hear me? I know you are reading. You will.)
A few days ago I received an e-mail from a fellow blogger asking if she could pick my brain. So we talked. Turns out she's visiting this play ground I call depression, as well. We've exchanged a few e-mails, laughed at our 'TMI' moments (uhm, I still win, I blogged about it!) and I think I actually answered a few of her questions.
And so I realized, I did it. When I started this blog I wanted to help just one person. I wanted to let just one person know that they were not alone in this. I wanted to encourage, cheer, push and love on other people who felt unloved in this ugly place of depression. I wanted to explain depression in easy, every day, no nonsense terms so others could understand. I wanted to make others see the humor in this situation, because I see it.
Somehow, in some crazy way, I did a little bit of that.
My friend across the Atlantic is explaining her depression to her friends as she is experiencing it. Do you see the wonder in that? She 's telling them about it in real time.
If is sounds like I'm patting myself on the back? It's because I am. These two ladies let me know that I am getting the word out. And that was my goal. (So, my emotional vomiting on you all is working. Yay for you!) :)