Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Elf On The Shelf: Curse You!

My Grandma and I bought an Elf on the Shelf for the kids yesterday. I'm sure you've seen them - so cute! You sit the little guy on a shelf and he communicates with Santa every night. He tells Santa what you've been up to - have you been naughty or nice? I love this idea and the thought of starting a new tradition just warmed my little heart.

What.was.I.thinking?

I put him on the shelf, read the book to the kids and we named him (Mr. Red). Then Sarah began asking questions. And freaking out.

Becuase the elf was watching her. And could fly. And might appear in her room. And she's "not used to little flying elves."

I reassured her that the elf would not appear in her room. Over and over. She even told Mr. Red herself, saying, "Mr. Red, I 'm just not used to a little flying elf in my house. So could you please not fly into my room?"

We went to http://elfontheshelf.com to register our elf and watch the commercials. Perhaps that would alleviate Sarah's fears? (Because I really wanted this tradition. And we've written in the book. It can't go back.) The opening video for the elf? A commercial with the song, "The elf on the shelf is watching you! Watching you! Watching you! The elf on the shelf is watching YOU!"

I'll be honest, suddenly the elf was a little creepy. And the song was a tad Children Of The Corn-ish.

Sarah stared at the screen, her face white and her eyes wide. And then the obsession began.

All through dinner she glanced over her shoulder and made eye contact with the blasted thing. (Survelliance Elf as one friend dubbed him) She talked about him incessently. For two hours. She talked to him. For two hours. She tip toed around him. She decided against going to the bathroom because the elf was on her way. But she'd like to make some little red clothes for him. So he's not cold. Because, you know, let's keep the creepy little guy who freaks you out warm as he's flying through the air to tattle on you to a big fat man in a red suit who can magically appear in your house. ::headexplosion::

I threatened and cajoled. I distracted. Nothing worked.

She's afraid. But obsessed.

I said I was putting him away, and she got angry.

I.cannot.win.

So the elf sits, on the shelf. Watching us with creepy eyes that follow us around the room. He was so cute. And now? Creeptastic.